Good Behavior is Catching

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="127015b3.jpg"> <div> <B>Good Behavior is Catching</B><B>  |  </B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://help4self.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://help4self.net"><B>Home</B></A></FONT></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=180 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="ADHD Has Its Good Points">ADHD Has Its Good Points</A></div> <div> <A HREF="adderall_advisory_by_fda.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Adderall Advisory by FDA">Adderall Advisory by FDA</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id103.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Adolescent Depression FDA Warning">Adolescent Depression & FDA Warning</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Anxious Children">Anxious Children</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Depression in Children">Depression in Children</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fearful Child">Fearful Child</A></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Good Behavior is Catching</B></div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Learning from Mistakes">Learning from Mistakes</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rewards Can Backfire">Rewards Can Backfire</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="SelfEsteem that Counts">Self-Esteem that Counts</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Children Need Sleep">Children Need Sleep</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Unpleasant Tasks">Unpleasant Tasks</A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT</B></div> <div> by </div> <div> David C. Mathis, Ed.D.</div> <bR> <div> Have you noticed how easy it is to fall into the habit of reacting to improper behavior rather than calling attention to proper behavior?   Children have a way of helping us notice the wrong things they do.  It is up to us as parents to notice the things that are right.  In other words, we must determine to be on patrol so we can catch then doing something right. </div> <bR> <div> Why does it seem that we always notice the things that are wrong but forget to notice and compliment the things that are right?   First, it takes no effort to react.  If our child suddenly screams out in protest in the middle of the grocery store--we notice, we react.  How could anyone not?  Second, it takes thoughtful effort to train ourselves as parents to be watching for opportunities to compliment and praise the little things.  Our children perform many of the behaviors that we expect each day.  Most go without noticing.  We expect such behavior, as we should, but by calling attention to their good behavior we can further encourage them to continue.  </div> <bR> <div> Our children want our time and attention.  If they learn that they get our attention by their improper behavior, even if it is negative, then we are actually reinforcing the things we don't want to occur.   If we want our children to act in certain ways, then let them know we see them doing the things you expect.  Give them good attention for good behavior.  Not that we are constantly praising every good behavior but enough so that they know we notice.  Catch them doing something good.</div> <bR> <div> For example, if you ever feel like you are constantly refereeing squabbles between siblings, be sure to catch them getting along.  Catch them and reward them.  "You are doing such a great job helping each other."  It's that simple.  It doesn't mean that there will not be more squabbles but it promotes cooperation.  Good attention for good behavior.</div> <bR> <div> If your child often tantrums when he or she does not get that candy by the checkout line, reward him with a compliment next time he leaves the store without protest.  First, help prepare him by reminding that you are only going to purchase the things on your list.  Then, if he is successful, be sure and catch him.  "You did a great job in the store when I reminded you we were not buying candy.  Thank you.  I appreciate it."  </div> <bR> <div> Catch them using good manners, finishing a chore, being kind, etc.  Catch them doing something right.  If we determine to catch them doing something right, they will not catch us being lazy, reactive parents.  Or at least they will not see us slipping as often.    </div> </td> </tr></table></body>